It's more than I dare to think about
by Mizzy681
Summary: There's Adam in his living room, and there's Chris who shouldn't be in front of his door. Poor Mike, life has just gotten a bit more complicated. Continuation from 'Let it snow'.  Miz/Jericho/Edge. Slash. 'LIFE AFTER YOU'-SERIES part 2


**A/N: This is a continuation from 'Let it snow' and I'm thinking about making this a little series. What can I say? I wrote Mike/Adam to see if I could and now I'm obsessed. All will be posted as separate one-shots. I'm not sure, but this might be hard to follow if you haven't read 'Let it Snow'. If you haven't, read (& review) it. It's one of the best, maybe even the best I've written so far. Anyway it's late and I'm off to bed so I will keep this short. Read & please, please, please REVIEW! I need the pointers and the motivation to keep going. **

**Summary: When Chris shows up unexpected at Mike's house, Mike has to make a choice; will he go for his prince charming or for his dark knight? Not that Adam will give up that easily...**

**WARNING: Slash, smut and drama**

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine, not real :( **

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It's more than I dare to think about**

Mike stared confused at the man standing in front of his door. He couldn't believe his eyes. The world had gone crazy, he must be hallucinating. Yeah, that was it. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he saw a kid delivering Thai food. But opening his eyes he still saw the same blond with the insecure smile standing in front of his door. Mike felt himself slowly growing angry, an anger he thought he had shed a while ago.

"Mike," the softly breathed greeting brought him out of his trance.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Mike barked, his insides clenching when he saw the look of hurt on Chris' face. But he shook out of it. Chris had no right, no fucking right…

"I guess I deserve that," Chris sighed. Mike didn't answer, just continued his piercing glare and after another sigh Chris continued. "I miss you, Mickey."

Mike shook his head, biting his lip. He wanted to snap something back. He would've thrown the door into his face if the sound of the nickname only Chris had ever used for him hadn't brought up those annoying butterflies in his stomach. For weeks, months he had waited for Chris to show up; for him to call or text or anything; for an explanation, an apology, for anything. And now — just when Mike was moving on — he came to rip everything apart again.

"Please? I really need to talk to you." Chris raised his hand to stroke his cheek, electricity racing through him when the hand made contact with his skin. "I'm sorry for leaving like that."

Mike was still shaking his head, curling his hand around Chris' wrist and he almost reluctantly pulled the hand away from his face. "This is not a good time…"

And right on cue, the low voice boomed through the hallway, "Mike? Are you flirting with the delivery guy again?"

Chris tensed and took a step back. "Who…?" But his question was irrelevant as the door of the hallway opened and a tall man came sauntering out into the hallway. "Adam? What the fuck are you doing here? What is he doing here? Mike?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Chris." With big steps Adam made his way towards the door, glaring at his best friend while he threw a possessive arm around Mike's shoulders. Mike almost immediately shrugged it off, eyes darting back and forth from Chris to Adam. Both men were staring at him with something close to desperation in their eyes, a look he had never thought to see from either one of them. Dreaming, he was still sure he was dreaming. If only he could wake up.

"Mike?" Adam whispered, soft and almost shaky, maybe even insecure, as if Adam would ever get insecure.

It shook him out of it. He turned towards Adam, placing a hand on his chest. "Lemme talk to Chris. I'll be back inside in a minute, okay?" Adam looked like he was far from okay with that, but, after throwing Chris one last furious look, complied anyway, slamming the door shut after him.

"You can't be serious about…" Chris started, but Mike interrupted him.

"That's none of your fucking business! You left, Chris. You left without ever talking about it to me. You let me believe you were only going on a short break and I didn't know shit before I heard Hunter talking to Randy about it _after_ you were already gone. You didn't even take the trouble to say goodbye."

"I couldn't tell you… I couldn't say goodbye…. It… would've hurt too much." Chris stammered, once again raising his hand.

"Coward! Did you ever stop to think about how much I hurt with you leaving like this? How much it hurt to realize that I was nothing but an amusing distraction for you on the road?" Mike was almost screaming now. He needed to get Chris out of this mood. He needed him angry or defensive so he wouldn't be tempted. Instead Chris looked almost devastated as he took another step closer, cupping Mike's face with both of his hands.

It hurt to be forced to look in his eyes again. It hurt so much to realize that the one thing he had wanted more than anything in his life was the one thing he would never have. From the beginning Chris had tried to make him believe it was all a fairytale, that what they had didn't belong in the real world. And he was right, because this fucking prince charming was married, very happily married even. In the end everything had turned out to be one big lie that he had oh-so-willingly let himself be dragged into.

"I… I wanted you to think you meant nothing to me. I wanted you to move on. I left because of you, Mickey. You deserve so much more than I can give you. I wanted you to have a relationship with someone who was free to be with you, who didn't need to hide you."

"I know… Adam told me." Mike snapped back. "I don't care about _why_ you did it, I care about _what _you did. I don't like people making decisions about _my_ life. But now tell me, what the fuck are you doing here?" He shrugged Chris' hands off, taking — once again — a step back. He hated being the one to back off.

"I miss you…" Chris looked lost, hands now hanging by his sides.

"You said that already."

"Well… it's as plain and simple as that!" Finally Chris was getting angry. "I was spending Christmas with Jennifer and the kids and I suddenly realized that I was freaking unhappy because you weren't in my life anymore. So I took a flight and came here…"

"In the assumption I was here waiting for you to turn up? What did you expect, Chris? And even if I wanted to come back to you…" He didn't want that, he shouldn't want that... When had life become this complicated? "How do you suppose that would work out? Do you expect us to fall back into the same routine? Screwing behind your wife's back, trying to hide what we have all the time? Are you even coming back to wrestling?"

Chris shook his head. "I don't know… I only knew I needed to see you."

"You're an idiot, Chris. Always have been and always will be. You didn't even think about any of this, right?" Despite his anger, Mike grinned now. Chris had that endearing quality of acting on his feelings without considering any of the practical consequences. He expected things to turn out just the way he wanted simply because he wanted them to. To give him credit, most of the time they did.

Chris grinned back now, that amazing, warm grin that made him feel like a lovesick teenager and that had been the one reason this entire shit started. "So?"

"So nothing! I'm going back inside, you're going home to your wife and kids and in time we'll be friends again." Mike sounded a lot more certain than he actually was.

Chris nodded, biting his lip. "But… you and Adam… you can't be serious about him… he's…"

"Shut up and mind your own business." Mike was doing all he could to ignore the jealousy shining from the blond's eyes. He was doing all he could to shut out his own pain. He didn't want to explain himself to Chris. He hated that he still felt he owned him that. He hated that he felt guilty for having Adam here, for being with Adam at all. He hated that seeing Chris made him fear this thing with Adam — whatever that was — was just as stupid as the entire relationship with Chris had been.

Chris sighed and raked his hand through his hair. He now looked tired and slowly turned away. Mike stared at his back, trying to figure out why he didn't call him back, why he didn't want to call him back, why he was crying. Suddenly Chris turned around, for one last time capturing Mike's eyes, not doing anything to hide his own tears. "Tell Copeland… tell Copeland to treat you right."

"You tell him yourself, old man. He's your friend." Mike grinned through his tears and Chris gave him the same grin back.

Then he left and Mike closed the door, leaning against it, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. He hurt, but he had hurt a lot worse in the past. He would heal. Now all he needed to do was to figure out what to do with that other idiot he had inside.

After a last sigh he dried his eyes with his sleeve and he walked back into the living room to find Adam pacing back and forward, angry steps, every line of his body tense, frustration oozing from his pores. The moment Mike came in Adam halted, staring at him with an intensity that burned through Mike.

"What did he want?" The question was sharp.

"Me." Mike answered simply.

"And?" Adam almost spit the word out.

"And nothing, I sent him back home," another simple, honest answer.

"Good," there was so much satisfaction seeping out of that one word.

For a few seconds they grinned at each other, before the look on Adam's face changed, again looking angry, threatening even. He stalked towards Mike, his composure so intimidating he had him backing away without Mike even realizing it. He didn't stop until the brunette stood with his back to the wall, nowhere to go.

"If I hadn't been here, would you still have sent him away?" The words were barely more than a whisper, the jealousy in his words so obvious that Mike would've laughed if not for the intensity of the eyes burning down on him. But he wasn't going to do that. He wasn't going to lose all his sense over yet another man. He was a grown man, not some fucking fourteen year old girl who fainted whenever a guy batted his eyelashes. "You still love him don't you?" Why did he feel like he was playing a role in a soap opera? Why couldn't Adam get off his back? Why didn't he give him space? "Answer me Mike!"

"Stop interrogating me! I don't know, I fucking don't know! What do you want me to say? And why do you even care? If it had been any other guy but Chris, would you still be this possessive? I don't fucking think so. You only want me because Chris had me first!"

Adam staggered a step back, shaking his head. "What the fuck? Haven't you heard a word I said to you the last few weeks?" He raked both hands through his hair. "You thought it was all bullshit, right? You thought I was lying to get you into bed? Well… newsflash kid. I don't need to lie to get laid."

"Don't call me kid!" Mike snarled. Somewhere in the back of his head he realized he was picking the fight with the wrong man and somehow he couldn't care less.

"I'll call you anything I like, Mikey, because you are a kid! You're so fucking scared of something that could be real…"

"I'm not scared!" Mike snapped.

"Really? Really?"

He hated it when someone else used his catchphrase.

"Who are you trying to fool, buddy? I think your only fooling yourself, because no one else is buying it." Adam grabbed him by his shoulders and fixed his vicious glare with an odd, serious look. Mike tried to protest, to fight to get away but Adam continued like he never even opened his mouth.

"I mean… there's you falling for a married man and Chris wasn't the first one, right? What about you and Cena? Or was that just a one-sided crush? The guy is discreet, I give him that. It annoys the hell out of me. And there's all that shit I heard about you and Jake, who just married some model and who I'm sure isn't even really bi. And remember when you dumped Morrison over something ridiculous that only existed in your head? Do you want me to go on? Because I think I have a dozen other examples."

Now Mike snarled, fighting to get out of the older man's iron grip. "Don't you have anything better to do than gossip about my life, Copeland?"

Adam had the audacity to laugh at his question. "Actually I don't… I'm simply trying to make sense of all those fucking mixed signals you're throwing me and it's bloody hard."

"Then why try? Why not just give up?"

"Because I don't want to!" Adam glared at him like that explained everything. It probably did when you were Adam Copeland.

"Because, Mike," now the look in his eyes became softer and a hand reached up to stroke his cheek. "I wanted you way before Chris ever knew you existed. I wanted you since that first moment when you stumbled into the locker room with Tough Enough, so young and so scared and so deliciously innocent. I wanted you long before you found a way to make the Miz work for you, way before Morrison showed you that you weren't straight and when I was still married for that matter. I wanted you then and now I've had you I want you even more."

Mike now gaped at him, shaking his head in disbelief, giving up all his fight.

"I waited, Mike. I waited for you to grow up and get over whatever shit you went through so I could get the man and not the boy. And yes, I was more than pissed that Chris had you first and well… maybe I should've restrained myself in that cabin, but man, you were almost naked and… fuck, I thought that I had waited long enough by now and not to mention that I was afraid Alex would steal you away from me, so…"

"Alex? Why does everyone think that? Alex is with Mor. He has been since the first episode of NXT."

"He is?" Adam looked confused. "I can't picture them together somehow. You and him, yeah…" Out of nowhere he growled again. "Stop changing the subject! We were talking about you and me."

"I don't want to talk," Mike grumbled, looking away from the overpowering stare.

"That's one sentence I never expected to hear from you, Mikey."

"Fuck Adam… just say what you want from me." He closed his eyes and bit his lip. Adam was coming too close too soon. His relationship with Chris had been founded on lies and deceit — to his wife, their friends and co-workers, most of all to themselves, something that Mike was more than comfortable with — whereas Adam was painfully real, never giving him the chance to hide. Nothing was safe, nothing was sacred. He went over, under, through his inner boundaries so fast that Mike felt like he was turned inside out every time they had spend time together. It was exhausting, it was excruciating, it was liberating. He hated it so much… and still he couldn't stay away. It was just the sex, he told himself, just the fun they had together most of the time, but he was lying to himself, again…. And of course Adam saw right through it.

"All I want is you," his voice was soft and soothing, hands cupped his face, thumbs wiping tears from his face he never remembered shedding. "It's that simple…. No lies, no pretending, no secrets, just me wanting to be with you…" A kiss was brushed on his lips, a sob escaped him when the warm lips moved away again. "Look at me Mike." Reluctantly he opened his eyes and looked up into the grey eyes that showed nothing but complete honesty. "Why do you have to make everything so god-damn difficult for yourself? What happened to you?"

Mike tensed up at that question. It touched the edges of things he wasn't ready to acknowledge. Adam noticed. Of course he did, he bloody noticed everything. But for once he didn't dig. He didn't need to; asking annoying, too personal questions wasn't the only weapon he used mercilessly to break Mike apart. He had another one, one much more pleasant and in a way much more powerful. Because although Mike could choose not to answer Adam's questions, he couldn't force his body not to react to his touch.

Adam eased closer, pressing his body against him, one hand gliding to the back of his neck, raking through his hair, the other one traveling down his neck, his side, to wrap around his waist. Lips closed over his, melting his every resistance with his patience, his tenderness and eventually with his passion when Mike started to react. Hands buried themselves in long blond hair, his more than willing body molding against Adam's.

Electricity shot through him when deft fingers opened the buttons of his shirt, a tremble went through his body as large hands fanned out over his stomach, his chest, to slide his shirt off his shoulders. Nibbling kisses were pressed on his neck and shoulders, the raw sensation of Adam's stubble making him purr.

His own hands had found his way under Adam's shirt now, feeling cold against his heated skin. They followed the line of his abs, played with the soft hair on the broad chest before urgently tugging on his shirt in an attempt to get it off. Adam was quick to help him with that, immediately pulling him close again, rubbing against him like a cat in heat, skin against skin, feeling so _right_. Lips crashed down again, tongues found each other, going in and out of their mouths in an increasingly passionate dance.

Mike couldn't stop the needy moan when Adam cupped his crotch, rubbing the heel of his hand against his straining erection. He bucked forward, desperate to increase the friction. His pants were opened and yanked down to his knees. A hand was wrapped around his dick, starting a routine that was nothing less than perfect. Mike sagged against the wall, a panting mess as the pleasure took him over.

Roughly he was turned around, the hand only pausing for a second. He was pushed with his chest against the wall now, Adam holding him there with his weight. The contrast between the cold wall and the heated skin of his lover made goose bumps break out all over his skin. A lubed up finger made his way into him. He had only a second to wonder when Adam had exactly found the time to lube up, but then the first stab against his prostate made him cry out. Adam never gave him a moment of respite, putting constant pressure on the bundle of nerves — with one, two, even three fingers — in a way that was designed to make him fall apart. He was getting so close, his entire body on fire, ready to explode, when the hot body pulled away taking his hands with him. Mike sagged against the wall, panting, whining in need, his hand traveling to his dick.

"Don't even think about it!" Adam's voice was hoarse, filled with lust and desire.

"Adam… please…" Fuck, he hated the whine in his voice, the desperation in the words, the fact that he obeyed.

"If you wanna do something useful, take off your clothes." The voice was closer now, the heath that was radiating from Adam's body so intense he could feel it no matter the distance between them. It was so distracting that it took a while before Adam's words sunk in.

"Do it yourself," he snapped the moment they did. There was something about Adam that made him want to submit and he was fighting that every single moment.

"My pleasure," he could hear the grin in Adam's voice. In a way it was the fight between them that made this fun, aggression and egos paired with infinite lust and epic sex that made them both come back for more time and time again. At least that was what Mike told himself.

Hands clamped on his hips so hard he yelped; a kiss was pressed right behind his ear with a mumbled word that sounded a lot like 'sorry'. A lot more careful now the hands traveled down and peeled the tight jeans from his legs. He yelped again when teeth sunk in his ass so hard they had to leave a mark. A soft kiss eased the pain.

Then Adam was on his feet again, pressing his entire body flush against him, pinning him against the wall, rubbing his dick up and down his cleft, slowly entering with only the head and pulling out again in a way that was meant to make him beg. Well, he had done enough of that today. He pushed back to force Adam to start fucking him but it only caused Adam to completely pull out.

"Not like this…," he mumbled, nuzzling the spot between his neck and shoulder, "… need to see your eyes."

When Adam didn't do anything else, Mike slowly turned around, eyes searching for the grey eyes of the older man. He gasped; the look in his eyes was so painfully intense, not just filled with lust but with something so much more Mike didn't even want to think about it. They burned down on him, piercing through all his defenses until he looked right into his soul. Even if he wanted to he couldn't break the gaze, helpless as strong hands lifted him, propped him up against the wall and entered him in one fluent motion. In a reflex his legs wound around the blond's waist, a scream swallowed by the lips covering his. He had never been filled like this, he felt like he was torn apart, it hurt too much and — with a second stroke dead-on against his sweat spot — felt too good. The feeling was almost unbearable, he was on fire, sweat pouring from his body, head thrown back, lips parted as pants left his lips, eyes half-lidded but maintaining the searing eye contact that only broke to allow their sloppy kisses.

He was already coming close, inner muscles quivering around Adam's pulsing dick, that was slammed in him again and again and again, more times than not brutally hitting his prostate. Pain and pleasure soon became a red-hot sensation clouding his mind and taking over his body. But it was the look of pure bliss in Adam's eyes that became his downfall, that wicked, demon grin still sketched around his lips, the repeated whispering of his name that send him over the edge. He tensed up, his head trashing wildly, muscles rolling under his skin, cum exploding from him in an orgasm that didn't seem to end as long as his lover was still driving forcefully inside him, coating his insides with hot spurts of cum.

Adam sagged against the wall, arms tightened around the brunette, his nose buried into the short hair, pressing sweet kisses in his neck. Mike was slowly getting back to his senses, reluctant to end the moment, but also getting more uncomfortable with every passing second. His ass hurt, his back was sore from scraping against the wall and the closeness between them made him want to run away. Something had changed, something made him fear that this was more than just fun and that he had nowhere left to hide.

"Fuck, you're heavy," Adam grinned at him, a hint of the intensity of earlier still left in his eyes, but overshadowed by a look of utter satisfaction.

"Then put me down, old man."

He winced as Adam obeyed, the pain in his ass multiplying as the older man pulled out, his back and legs protesting when he was put back on his feet. "Damn, that hurts. You owe me for this…"

"I think you got all you wanted and more than you deserve." Again the wicked glimmer in the grey eyes, that smirk around his lips; it dared him to come up with a good reply, to start another of their wars. Mike opened his mouth but he couldn't think of anything decent. So instead he only raised an eyebrow, slipping out of the blond's grip on his way to a shower. To his surprise Adam let him go, not even following him.

He let the hot water flow over his aching muscles, sooth the painful skin of his back and ass and he tried to ignore the nagging doubts, the feelings of regret and loss. He felt like he had ruined something, that he had lost a game he didn't even know he was playing — a game he didn't know the rules of. He forced away the tears, pushed away the thought that he was somehow fucking everything up. He didn't even know why he was crying, who he was crying for.

He didn't see Adam standing in the door opening, eyes filled with pain at the torture in his lover, in his friend. He only needed to take two steps to take Mike into his arms, only two steps to hold him close and shield him from everything that was hurting him. Those two steps could as well be a thousand miles, because Mike would never let him in.

_A__ll that I'm after is a life full of laughter_

_As long as I'm laughin' with you_

_I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after_

_After the life we've been through_

_'Cause I know there's no life after you_

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_**A/N: Song is 'Life after my' by Daughtry. Love that song, somehow I think it fits here. **

**So lemme know what you think. BTW I know that Mike is painfully complicated and I will explain that in later parts of the series. Well I will if he ever tells me what the hell is wrong with him, because I have no clue. Btw I'm looking for a name for the series and I'd love to hear your suggestions. **


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